


don't worry, you will

by sstargays



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drag Queen John Murphy, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Yeah that's right, bellamy really likes to comfort people, completely forgot that, especially John
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-07 08:20:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20306377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sstargays/pseuds/sstargays
Summary: "So Murphy, any hobbies?"Murphy thinks back to last night, covered in makeup and in a dress. "Not much, no."





	1. i'm a freak, i'm a fraud

**Author's Note:**

> "I can't find a thing I don't like about you  
and I'm like, 'don't worry, you will.''
> 
> — don't worry, you will - lovelytheband
> 
> a couple friends and i were discussing a drag queen murphy and bellamy being a huge fan but not knowing it's him because he's oblivious and i said one of us would write a fic and guess it's me

Murphy steps out of the bar, waving goodbyes to his friends, of which he had few. On his way out, he bumps into someone walking down the street and falls right on his back. He was about to yell at him and tell him to watch where he's going, but he sees his face and his apologetic smile and almost forgets how to breathe.

The stranger keeps smiling at him as he extends a hand out to him. "Sorry. I wasn't looking. Are you okay?"

Murphy takes his hand and lets him pull him up. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." He starts to walk away, but the man speaks in a way that catches his attention.

"You look familiar. Do you work here?" He points toward the bar and Murphy turns around and freezes. This can't be. He can't know, he doesn't look like the type who watches _ drag shows _. He's too well put together for that.

Murphy thinks of something quickly. "Yeah, I'm a bartender here. My shift just ended. I'm Murphy." He holds out his hand, and the other takes it. His grip is strong, and Murphy hates that he loves that.

"I'm Bellamy." He grins again, and Murphy's chest tightens.

"Bellamy… That means good-looking companion. You are a good-looking companion, if I can say that."

Bellamy laughs and nods. "Yes, of course you can. You don't look too bad yourself, you know. You're pretty."

Murphy smiles, taking his hand back and curling his fingers around the strap of his bag. "Thanks, I get that a lot, but I'm really not. I look average, I guess."

The man shakes his head. "Murphy… I can tell you're not average. You're different from the rest. I like that about you. If I were to truly befriend you, I wouldn't regret it." He punctuates his sentence with another wide smile. "You're special."

Murphy scoffs and rolls his eyes. "If you weren't so wrong, I'd consider keeping you around. I like the way you say my name. It's nice… I guess. Well, sounds nice when you say it."

Bellamy chuckles, something Murphy can feel in his chest. It's deep and sounds so sweet and gentle and genuine, like he does it all the time. Murphy absolutely does not, and that's just fine with him. He doesn't mind being let down and being told he doesn't deserve to be happy. He's gotten it countless times, from co-workers, family, friends, you name it, he's probably been yelled at to stop laughing. He's not allowed to smile.

"I like the way you say my name too," Bellamy says and Murphy snaps out of his daze. "It's cute."

Murphy's heart stops for a second. _ Cute _? He thinks Murphy's cute? To be fair, Bellamy's pretty cute himself. He's got a look to him. It's not easy to be hot, cute and sexy all at once, but somehow he'd pulled it off and Murphy's knees were weak thinking about seeing him a second time. Maybe a third time. A fourth. Perhaps a fifth, too.

"Thank you, Bellamy."

Alright, he's in love.


	2. pretending like my heart ain't broke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can make you happy for a while,  
Smile for a little,  
Pretending like my heart ain't broke."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this chapter has four warnings
> 
> 1\. it's like super sappy so if you don't like sappy shit then sorry lads  
2\. you probably all know who john's ex is (1. im predictable and 2. new tags whaaaaaaat)  
3\. this chapter has references to past domestic abuse, both verbal and physical, so look out for that (pretty much from "The last one didn't think so" to "he didn't want her anymore anyway". also it might be brought up again so if you really don't like that kind of talk then tread extremely lightly)  
4\. also yes murphy's drag name is kay bye just go with it

Murphy saw Bellamy once again, this time intentionally. They met at the bar where Murphy works, and Bellamy, being as perfect as he is, couldn't stop smiling. He even giggled. He  _ fucking giggled _ . He really was perfect. Murphy used to giggle. Back when he was happy. Maybe Bell can make him happy again.

Either way, one of his co-workers called him John when he saw him, and Bellamy repeated it in a soft voice and Murphy almost wanted to just tell him to just call him John, because he said it like he was almost out of breath. Like he was just exasperated, and he absolutely _ loved _ that. The way he spoke tended to be really lively, but he says his name differently, like he's special. His voice was so sweet, and he couldn't wait to hear it say his name again back at home.

"So, John," he said, and Murphy just felt like he had to kiss him, because his cheeks were red from how drunk he was already and he just kept  _ smiling _ . And he almost did, because he had horrible self control. "Any hobbies?" Bellamy continued. "You seem like the type to have a lot of free time."

Murphy froze. He thought back to last night, before he met Bell, covered in makeup and wearing a dress. "No, not really. I mean, I like to drink and flirt, mostly with you, but… Well, that's about it." He took a sip of his whiskey to make it clear he won't say any more.

Bellamy didn't seem surprised at that, but he did let out a chuckle, the kind you can feel deep in your chest, filling your heart with the most intense love. The kind of love that leaves knots in your stomach and tightens your chest and you feel so afraid to mess up in front of them. The kind that makes you both want them dead for making you feel that way, and makes you want to do anything to protect them. It scares Murphy to feel that kind of love. He's never felt that before. Of course, he's felt love, but it was most certainly fake, because his partner was so horrible to him that it couldn't have been real. Bellamy slid off the bar stool and moved to grip Murphy's shoulders. "You're _ flirting _ , hm?" He looked the younger over with a small, teasing smirk.

Murphy could feel the most intense urge to touch Bellamy, but he was so afraid that that would mess up what they have right now. He returned the smirk, offering him a knowing look. "Well, I thought it would've been pretty obvious. Is it?" He asked, finally giving in and cupping Bell's cheek with the hand that wasn't already shooting up to his bicep, and  _ fuck _ , was he strong. Even if he couldn't see it already from the first time they met, he could certainly feel it now. He  _ definitely _ doesn't like drag. He's too manly for that. But, who knows, maybe he's got a thing for  _ boys in dresses _ .

Bellamy snickered, leaning in for a kiss, before a girl came over and waved at Murphy. "Hey, Kay," she said, and Murphy froze. His eyes shot open and met Bellamy's, who was wearing a huge smile. He pulled away and turned to the girl.

" _ Kay _ ?"

"Oh, yeah! Kay Bye?"

Bellamy laughed and turned back to Murphy. "You're Kay Bye? Oh my god, I never would've known! Your makeup is so good, you look like a whole different person!" He smirked and ran his fingers through Murphy's hair as the girl left, smiling. "There's no better way to spend the week, right?" He smiled once more and their lips met. Murphy hesitated for a second before kissing back, and  _ god _ , was he glad he did. Bellamy was so gentle, much more gentle than his hundreds of hookups. All they wanted from him was sex, but he could tell Bellamy truly did love him. His kiss was so soft, and his touch was just as soft, his arms wrapped around Murphy's waist. The moment Bellamy pulled away, he almost pulled him back in, but he's learned to control that more than his urge to kiss boys he sees on the street.

Bellamy smiled as he pulled back, letting his hands fall to Murphy's hips. "You're so pretty… I was right to love you like I did. I'm so glad I've finally met you. You're so kind…" He trailed off and pressed a kiss to Murphy's forehead, then pressed theirs together. "I love you so  _ much _ , John Murphy. I've thought of you as like a god, and now I know I'm right. You're just… Christ, John, you're amazing."

Murphy, being the self-depreciative one here, didn't believe a  _ word _ of what he said, so he rolled his eyes and let his head drop to Bellamy's chest. He wrapped his arms tight around his waist as Bell wrapped his around his neck. "I'm serious! You're just the best. I dare say you're perfect, love." He sighed, stroking his hair back.

Murphy shifted and slid off his bar stool, standing in front of the older. "I don't think so, Bell. I'm pretty sure that you're lying." He let his arms slide back around his waist, laying his head on his chest once again.

Bellamy pulled back, leaned in and cupped his face gently, frowning slightly. "I'm not lying, my dear. You really are. I swear." He kissed his forehead and hugged him once more, rubbing his back and kissing his head.

"The last one didn't think so," Murphy mumbled "She treated me like I was nothing to her." His hands ran through Bell's hair slowly, kissing his jaw and burying his face in his neck. His past girlfriend, to put it simply, was a total asshole. She abused him. Both verbally and physically. He still has scars on his arms and legs from what she did to him, and when he was sure he didn't want her anymore, and he told her, she freaked out and nearly killed him. It still scares him sometimes. He shakes at night, thinking he hears her footsteps coming down the hall, her storming through the door. He panics every night, thinking she's still there, and he can't get a full night's sleep anymore. He squeezed his arms around Bellamy at the thought that at any second, she might see him and go crazy again, like she did that night when he told her he wasn't  _ exactly _ straight, and that he didn't want her anymore anyway.

Bellamy sighed as he pulled back once more, kissing John's forehead. "Baby…," Bellamy whispered, and Murphy snapped back, away from the past and into the present. And right now the present was in Bellamy's strong arms and his gentle grip around his waist, and he couldn't be happier with the feeling in his heart.

Murphy pecked Bellamy's neck, pulling away and giving him a smile. "Don't worry, Bell. She's gone, hopefully for good, but I never know." He  _ shuddered _ at the thought. "But as long as I have you to protect me, I think I'll be okay. I love you…"

Bellamy pressed a kiss to Murphy's lips, picking him up and setting him on the barstool again. Murphy freaked out when he was lifted off the floor, but the moment he came in contact with the soft leather once more, he knew it was alright. He can  _ trust _ Bellamy.

It's going to be alright.


End file.
